I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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