Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
