yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
