I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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