She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
