Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
