he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
