You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
