Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize