hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
