on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
