Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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