I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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