margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Come on in and take your pants off
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