so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Betty ford says i'm here all night
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
