Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
