I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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