at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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