chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
