Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
