it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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