Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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