i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
