dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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