Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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