1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
