I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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