The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
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