? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize