life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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