Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
