Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
