This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
