I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
