You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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