you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize