his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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