I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
