she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
