I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
