i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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