Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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