I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
