fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
