So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
