he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
