Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
