I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
