I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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