Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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