I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize