he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize