Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
