i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think my moral compass just broke
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
