I CAN MOONWALK!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
