Whod you bang
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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