he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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