when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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