Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
