I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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