then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
