i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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